


both a storm and a summer's day

by Sleepyfangirlx



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Elriel, Elriel au, F/M, Fluff and Angst, More angst, Secret Relationship, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28800969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepyfangirlx/pseuds/Sleepyfangirlx
Summary: “That’s how arranged marriages work, Elain.” Called Nesta from the bed. “You knew that when you agreed.”“I never agreed to anything. I was told by Father and that was the end of the conversation.”orElain is a princess forced to marry someone she doesn't love.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel, Elain Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand (background)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	both a storm and a summer's day

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the longest fic I have published. I take no responsibility for any emotional damage caused.
> 
> :)

Elain stood admiring herself in the mirror. Her golden-brown hair was piled atop her head, held in place with various decorative pins, and white flowers sat behind her delicate silver tiara. She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. It must be nerves.

She sucked in a breath as Feyre buttoned her dress shut. Her wedding dress was a monstrosity of silver, white and gold. Layers upon layers of tulle, lace and silk made up the skirt and bodice of what was meant to be her dream dress. She had wanted something simple, elegant, no hoops or petticoats, maybe not even a corset but her mother had insisted. _You are a princess, Elain_ , her mother had told her, _you must do what the royal wedding planners tell you or you will make this kingdom look foolish_. She scowled at the memory but her sister's voice broke her train of thought.

“How do you feel?” Inquired Nesta from her spot on the bed.

“Nervous,” Elain replied. “Is that bad?”

Her other sister laid a gentle hand upon her shoulder, careful not to crush the puffy sleeves.

“Of course not.” Feyre soothed. “I was so nervous I was almost sick. But marrying Rhys was the best thing that has happened to me.”

Elain huffed a sigh as Feyre moved away to retrieve her new silk slippers made especially for today. Normally her maids would help her with her clothing, hair and makeup but her sisters had insisted that they were the ones to help her prepare. _We need to have this moment_ , Feyre had told her mother and the maids as she pushed them out of the room. She doubted that that was Feyre’s true motivation but she was thankful nonetheless. 

Feyre knelt before her to help Elain slip her new shoes on.

“It’s different though Feyre. You knew Rhys, you courted for two months. I’ve never met the man I’m going to marry.”

“That’s how arranged marriages work, Elain.” Called Nesta from the bed. “You knew that when you agreed.”

“I never agreed to anything. I was told by Father and that was the end of the conversation.”

She moved away from the mirror to perch on the armchair in front of the unlit fire. She looked back at her sisters, who had concerned looks on their faces. 

Feyre moved closer. “He’s a good man, Elain. He's a personal friend of Rhys and me. In fact, Rhys is one of his groomsmen. It’s going to be okay.”

Elain nodded at Feyre, before rising and exiting the room. Her mother and father waited for her in her sitting area and they rose as she came through the door.

“Oh. Elain.” Her mother sighed. “You look stunning. You’re going to be the talk of all the realm.”

She heard Nesta scoff behind her. It was all her mother ever cared about.

Her father moved to take her elbow as her mother handed her her bouquet. They began to walk through the palace to the great hall, where the ceremony would be taking place. There, they greeted the wedding party and everyone took their respective places. Elain took a deep breath as the doors opened and the procession started. The music rose from in front of her and her father helped her adjust her veil. 

“I’m proud of you, Elain. You are doing your kingdom a great service.”

She nodded her thanks as her father began to lead her down the aisles. _One step in front of the other,_ she told herself, _you can do this._

She closed her eyes momentarily, wishing she were someplace else, before taking in the scene before her. She took another breath and took her first step towards the rest of her life.

-

Azriel watched as Princess Elain Archeron began walking down the aisle. Her father, King Issac Archeron of the Southern Lands, smiled proudly from his seat, which he had taken moments before. 

She looked stunning, her beauty taking his breath away. He held her breath as she moved towards him and up the stairs to the altar. 

Hidden in the shadows of a column beside the altar, he saw Prince Lucien smile at her. She returned it faintly as she took her place and handed her bouquet to Feyre. He tried desperately to meet her eyes but she refused to look anywhere but her betrothed face. His placement meant he had a full view of the altar and the ceremony that was taking place upon it. It was a cruel punishment, although what he was being punished for was unknown to him. His only crime was loving a woman high above his rank. A princess to his place as a palace guard.

He recalled their first meeting as silence settled over the hall and the priest began. 

_It had been the hottest day in the summer, and he had been on duty near the flower garden, where Princess Elain was known to spend her time. She had run into him, quite literally, after running from her companions, several tittering court ladies vying for a spot as the princess’ confidant and her lady-in-waiting. He had been observing the view, contemplating what it would be like to own such vast lands, and the pretty flower bed before him when something had barrelled into his back. Even years of training couldn’t stop him from losing his balance and toppling over. The person who had run into him fell with him, resulting in him being squashed against the ground. The mass rolled off him and helped pull him up, apologising profusely._

_“I am so sorry! I was not looking where I was going, I hope you can forgive me.”_

_Azriel looked to the source of the gentle voice and found the blushing princess. Her hair, golden in the sunlight, had fallen out of its ties and cascaded down her back. Her dress, the same colour as her cheeks, was now torn and covered in dirt and grass stains. She was beautiful in the way that all royalty was, there was something ethereal about her due to the entirely different planes of existence that they were on. He straightened his jacket and stood to attention._

_“Of course, Your Highness. If anything it was my fault, I should have been paying attention.”_

_She smiled at his admission of guilt. The reaction surprised him, he was so used to being reprimanded for everything he did he had forgotten there were other ways to do things._

_“What were you looking at?”_

_Once again, her engagement took him off guard. No one ever paid attention to the palace guard, especially the royal family. Now it was his turn to blush._

_“The flowers,” he muttered._

_A strand of her golden hair hung in front of her face and he was met with the sudden desire to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. She smiled at him shyly._

_“I’m glad you like them. The gardeners were furious when I planted them. Apparently, they didn’t go with the theme of the garden. Of course, they didn’t tell me this but Cerridwen, my maid, told me that it was all they could talk about at dinner.”_

_“You planted them?” Azriel knew that he shouldn’t be having this conversation, but there was something about her that made him want to know more._

_“I did. I planted most of the flowers near here. Nothing brings me more peace than gardening. I would spend every second here if my duties permitted it. It drives everyone crazy. Especially my mother. She insists that it is not ladylike to get down into the dirt and get involved but that’s what makes it satisfying. What about you? What do you do in your spare time?”_

_“Me?” Azriel replied, taken aback._

_She nodded enthusiastically._

_“I like to read.”_

_“My sisters like to read, Although Feyre prefers painting. Nesta however practically lives in the library. What kind of books do you like?”_

_“I like most books but I do have a soft spot for history.”_

_“I like a bit of history, but only if it’s botanical otherwise my mind shuts down. I’ve been caught by my tutors falling asleep as they drone on about how the 8 kingdoms of Prythian came to be.”_

_They smiled at each other and something like friendship blossomed between them. Which was ridiculous because she was the Princess and he was a guard. A thought occurred to him._

_“I hope you don’t mind me asking, your highness, but where are your companions? It’s not safe for you to be wandering around alone.”_

_Elain gave him a sheepish smile._

_“I ran away from them. I couldn’t stand the false niceties any longer. They don’t want to be my friend, they want a position in the court. I’d had enough, so I fled the moment they were distracted.”_

_“I’m sure they want to be your friend too.” He winced internally at the words. “The next time you run, make sure to bring your maid with you.”_

_Elain nodded. “I will. Unless...”_

_She trailed off as she watched him. Azriel tried not to fidget under her gaze._

_“Unless what?”_

_“Unless someone else escorts me on my walks. Next time I will go to the barracks and ask for...”_

_She trailed off as she realised that she never asked for his name._

_“Azriel.” He supplied._

_“I’ll ask for Azriel if that’s okay with you.”_

_He nodded._

_“I must apologise for not asking your name sooner. How rude of me. I’m Elain.” She smiled as she went to curtsy, but caught herself before she did, it wasn’t customary for royals to bow to anyone but other nobility, which he was definitely not._

_Of course, he knew her name. And she knew he knew, but he appreciated the gesture all the same._

_“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He replied inclining his head._

_Once again a hush spread between them, a warm feeling spread throughout his chest. A laugh pierced their silence followed but some chatter. Elain blanched._

_“I really must be off now, so I’ll leave you to admire the flowers. It was wonderful to meet you, Azriel.”_

_He bowed, “you too, Your Highness.”_

_She nodded, satisfied, before taking off in the opposite direction of the sounds. Azriel felt his body relax, although why it was tense in the first place was a mystery to him._

Something had bloomed after that first encounter. He had not anticipated the spark of love that grew into a wildfire between them; or the heartbreaking end to their tale. He should have seen it coming, a princess and a guard would never have any kind of future, but he was too wrapped up in the present and her scent, her touch and her taste to do anything but drown. He had let it spiral and now he stood watching her marry another man.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillar as he listened to the priest drone on about what marriage meant in the eyes of The Mother. He noted that he had skipped the part where he asked if anyone objected to the union. He wondered if he would, given the chance. If he would step out of the shadows and into the light. If he would rush to the altar and profess his love to Elain in front of the whole world. He would probably be led away in chains. But for Elain, he would do anything, it would be worth the risk. He let his mind wander and found himself looking at the time he had first realised that his treacherous heart had fallen in love with a princess.

_Many months into their friendship and almost a hundred walks later, Azriel found himself falling in love. Normally it took years before Azriel even recognised a friendship but with Elain, it was so easy. He accompanied her on walks through the gardens most days, if their schedules permitted it. If she was going to be absent, she’d send him a note early in the morning, often accompanied by a rant about which duties had kept her away or an amusing anecdote about how her rebellious younger sister had almost given their parents heart attacks yet again. They were always signed with her name, no titles in sight, much like their walks (although it had taken several weeks of intense pestering for Azriel to even refer to her as anything but “Your Highness.”_

_His new duties were noticed by both his captain and his colleagues but no one commented (aside from Cassian but Cassian comments on everything). They just assumed that it was a coincidence that he was stuck with the boring duty of escorting a stuck up princess around the vast grounds, but little did they know was that they were the highlight of his day._

_It was a frigid day and chills worked their way down his spine every time the frostbitten wind snapped at exposed skin. His winter uniform did little to keep out the cold, but he persevered. Elain too was in winter clothing. She was wrapped in a cobalt fur coat over a winter dress. Her hands were adorned with soft leather gloves that he so desperately wanted to pull off and feel her hand in his own. Her face was obscured by a hat pulled over her head and a white scarf that only revealed her eyes and a pink nose. She looked warm, Azriel was jealous. He kept a respectable distance away as a guard on escorting duty would do but as they made their way into less occupied parts of the ground, the distance closed between them. Soon they were walking side by side and they made small talk about the weather as Elain led him to wherever they were travelling to today._

_They soon arrived at a pond that would normally be teeming with life in the summer. He recognised the spot as a popular socialisation area for court members during warmer months, but for now, there was no one in sight. The pond had frozen over and the cold had chilled the stone benches on which they now sat on to almost painful temperatures. For a moment they both said nothing, letting their companionable silence fill the air. It was one of his favourite things about Elain. She never felt the need to fill the silence unless she had something worth saying. They stayed like that, listening to the sound of the wind. Elain pulled something out of her pocket. It was large and rectangular, and he wondered how she had managed to fit it into her pocket. On closer inspection, it revealed itself to be a book. She held it out to him._

_“My sister and I went into town yesterday, and Nesta insisted that we stop by the bookstore. I saw this and thought of you, so I thought I’d get it for you as a thank you for being such an excellent friend.”_

_Something felt wrong as she called him his friend, but he couldn’t identify the unpleasant feeling._

_“It’s a book on the history of the Royal family here in the Southern Lands. I thought it might interest you. It’s a first edition and it's signed.”_

_She pulled out another book. He wondered how big her pockets were._

_“Unfortunately this isn’t a gift. But I think you’ll like it all the same. I remember you mentioning that you are from the Night Court, specifically Illyria. My sister’s husband is the crown prince there so she has access to the royal library. She found this book of Illyrian folklore and sent it to me. It needs to be sent back in a month but until then it’s yours to read.”_

_He looked at her shock, which seemed to be a daily occurrence. Every time they talked, she always managed to surprise him. He had always had an image of what royalty were like but Elain had taken the image and shattered it into tiny pieces. Because of her, he had to rework everything he thought he knew about the royal family and rebuild it bit by bit._

_He longed to reach out and take the books, but he knew deep down that he couldn’t accept it._

_“It’s amazing Elain, but I can’t accept this.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“It’s not- I can’t- we’re not allowed to accept gifts from anyone who isn’t staff. Besides, I don’t have anything for you.”_

_“Azriel, this may sound cliché but you are a gift yourself. You are the only one who really listens to me, who sees me as a person instead of a way to climb the ranks. You take your time to walk with me so I’m not forced to spend my time with the horrible court ladies. You are passionate and wonderful and the only true friend I have. I wanted to give you something in return.”_

_For once in his life, Azriel was speechless. He had always had words when he needed them, but now they slipped beyond his grasp. Something stirred in his chest._

_“Elain-“_

_“I want you to take them, Azriel. Please.”_

_She placed the two books in his hands and stood up, dusting off her coat._

_“I’m needed back in the palace soon, we should get going.”_

_Azriel nodded, still unsure what to say, and tucked his books under his arms. They wandered back to the palace, Elain telling him about what she had planned for the rest of the day. It was as if she sensed that he still had no words, and decided to save him from the need to find some. They arrived at the garden entrance and Elain turned to bid him farewell. Before he could stop himself, he reached out to clasp her wrist. A spark ignited as his hand met her arm, and it travelled throughout his body. Elain looked at him wide-eyed but didn’t pull away._

_“Thank you.”_

_He released her arm and his whole body warmed as she smiled at him softly. He watched her as she walked away, no longer feeling the cold and he started to realise that he was in love with Elain Archeron._

-

The ceremony continued, the priest droning on. Azriel could no longer bear to look at the altar, and Elain couldn’t bear to look at him. She had refused to even glance at where he was standing, fearing she would simply burst into tears. Her sisters had reassured her that it would all be okay, her parents had assured her that it was what was best for the kingdom, and she assured herself that this was the only path forward, there was no other ending for her story, no matter how much she craved it. She looked up from her feet to watch the man next to her. He smiled softly as he caught her gaze. She could admit that Prince Lucien Vanserra of the Autumn Kingdom was handsome, with his fiery hair and russet eyes, but no man would ever measure up to her Azriel. She felt her lip twitch into a frown before smile disguised her sorrow once more. He would never be ‘her Azriel’ and she would never be his. Her heart had skipped a beat when she met him, more wonderful than the prized gardens around them. Her cheeks had warmed whenever they spoke, and slowly but surely, she fell. She fell softly, just like how she did everything, and it was the most angelic feeling. She knew nothing could come of it, but she had forced that grievous thought from her head and focused only on the warmth in her chest and stars in her eyes.

She was flung from her thoughts when she felt Lucien take her silk-covered hands. She looked over the beaming faces of the guests, caught her fathers eye who nodded in approval. She felt Lucien lean closer as ‘I do’ was forced from her lips. Lucien echoed the ‘I do’ and they were pronounced man and wife. Her heart dropped as Lucien leaned forward to press his lips to hers. She didn’t move. He pulled back, the smallest frown on his face, only visible to her. She turned with him to face the crowd, her false smile growing larger as they began to walk back down the aisle. She turned momentarily and caught Azriel’s gaze. Her sorrow was echoed in his own and he looked away. She swallowed as she was led from the hall. Lucien’s kiss lingered on her lips. An unwelcome sensation and she could only think of her first kiss with the one she truly loved.

_It was spring again, and the first buds had begun to bloom. Elain and Azriel had been weaving their way through the flower gardens, following their usual path, when Elain had come to a sudden halt. Azriel had turned back to look at her and the mid-morning sunlight had caught his eyes, sending the veins of gold in his irises glittering. Elain had thought she had never seen anything more beautiful._

_He cocked his head to the side before asking, “Are you okay?”_

_She nodded before gesturing to him to come closer. He approached cautiously, unsure of her intentions. Despite her gentleness and kind demeanour, Elain had a mischievous side that had almost gotten them into trouble more than once. When he had come close enough, she caught his hand in hers and pulled him closer. She could see the surprise in his eyes at the contact. This wasn’t the first time she had held his hand, it had begun to happen more frequently as the line between friendship and something else began to blur, but it still caught him off guard every time._

_She smiled at him, her soft smile only reserved for him, and began to pull him off the path. “Come with me.”_

_They walked in comfortable silence through the trees and flower patches, until they reached a wall of hedges. He cast her a questioning look but she just smiled at him and released his hand._

_She approached the hedge slowly puzzling over where the spot she needed was._ There! _The branch she had painted green several summers ago was several feet to her left and she hurried towards it. Pushing the branches and leaves aside, she managed to squeeze through the hedge and into a small alcove with a battered wooden door._

_“Elain?” She heard Azriel call._

_“Come through the hedge where I did!”_

_She heard rustling and Azriel emerged. She giggled as she saw a twig stuck in his hair and reached up to remove it. He moved out of the hedge as she did this and stood beside her. The alcove was small, meaning their arms were pressed against each other but Elain tried not to think about it as she fiddled with the rusted lock. She applied pressure to the hairpin she had removed from her hair and inserted and with a satisfying click, the door swung open._

_Elain stepped into her secret garden and admired the overgrown solace she had found years ago. It used to be a private area for tea parties and other social gatherings but for reasons unknown to her it had been closed off. The small walled garden hadn’t been tended too for an age, leaving all plants to grow as they pleased. Wild rose bushes tangled with the old metal gazebo and algae coated the surface of the small pond. When she had found it, she had considered fixing it up, but the wildness added to the charm. She turned to watch Azriel take it in before leading him over to the bench under the gazebo. They both took a seat and Azriel continued to gaze at the beauty around him._

_“What is this place?” Wonder was evident in his voice._

_“I found it when I fell through the hedge during a game of hide and seek with my sisters several summers ago. It’s become my haven, I come here whenever I feel overwhelmed and just want some peace. I wanted to show it to you.”_

_He watched her, and she felt her cheeks flush under his intense stare._

_“Are you overwhelmed now?”_

_The question caught her off guard. Was she overwhelmed? She was always overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by palace life, overwhelmed by the gaggle of nobles who follow her around, overwhelmed by the world's expectations for her. She glanced at Azriel, who had turned back to admire the garden, before looking away again. She was overwhelmed by her feelings. Feelings she had never experienced before. Her novels had told her that love is like oxygen, you can't survive without it. Feyre had told her love was like fire, once your heart had caught alight, it burned and burned without respite. Elain didn’t know what love felt like, but sitting here in her favourite place, with her favourite person by her side, she thought love felt a little bit like this. He both overwhelmed and calmed her. He was both a storm and a gentle summer's day. A raging ocean and a peaceful sea. He was fire but also the water that soothed her burns. Was she overwhelmed? She could have the entire world falling apart at her fingers and he would be the only one who could make her feel like everything would be okay. She loved him._

_“Azriel?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_He looked back at her in time to see her lean forward and press her lips to his. He sighed, melting against her lips and wrapping an arm around her waist to bring her closer to him. She trailed her fingers up his neck and tangled her fingers in his hair, it was as soft as she thought it would be. She felt him deepen the kiss and her heart was on fire. She pulled away, resting her forehead on his. She was practically in his lap now, and she wanted to stay there forever._

_“I love you.”_

_She surprised herself at her admission but it was true nonetheless._

_His eyes widened, and he pulled away slightly._

_“Elain-“_

_“I love you, Azriel,” she interrupted. “I love you so much, and I have for a while. I can’t imagine my life without you. You asked me if I was overwhelmed, I am, and I realised you are the only person who could ever make me feel okay with that. You have brightened my life in every way possible. You are my sun, my moon, my stars. I love you.”_

_He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. She could feel the thousands of thoughts that were racing through his mind._

_“I love you too.”_

_And he kissed her again._

-

The reception was in full swing. Couples were twirling on the dance floor, friends were gathered around tables, and Lucien and Elain sat at the head table. The party was held in the main gardens, lights had been strung in trees and a dance floor had been bought outside. It was beautiful, with the cream coloured tables and seats, the beautiful bouquets that were found on every available surface. It was wonderful, but her heart was heavy as she sat with the husband she did not love. They had danced their first dance whilst everyone cheered, they had greeted every noble within Prythian, accepting their best wishes and thanking them for their attendance. They had spoken briefly to her younger sister and her husband and even caught Nesta briefly before she snuck away, back to the library. Elain usually loved social gatherings like this. She loved talking to new people, hearing stories from far and wide, tales that captured her imaginations and sights she longed to see. But now, all she wanted to do was hide. The one person she wanted to talk to wasn’t there. She had scanned the reception earlier, analysing each guard posted but he was nowhere to be found. Her chest ached, she had to see him.

Elain turned to her husband, who was making ideal chatter to her father. She tapped him on the shoulder, trying her best to hide the grimace as he caught her hand and pressed a kiss to it.

“What is it, my Elain”

She tried to cover her grimace at his belief that she was his, but the awful truth was that she was.

“I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed, I may take a small walk around the garden for some fresh air.”

He frowned, concern evident on his face. Lucien was a nice man, but he could never have her heart. 

“Do you need me to accompany you?”

She shook her head, “No need, enjoy yourself here. I’ll be back soon.”

She stood from her chair and made her way to the flower garden entrance. Every time she was stopped, she would politely dismiss them and move toward her escape. Her thoughts were racing past, a hurricane in her head. She needed her solace, she needed her Azriel. 

She knew where he’d be. The same place they always met during their secret trysts. When she came to the alcove, the door was already open, and Azriel sat on their bench gazing up at the stars. He didn’t look at her as she sat beside him, but gently he pulled off her glove and wrapped her hand in his own. They sat there in silence, only the stars to keep them company.

“I’m sorry.” Her whisper was carried away by the wind but she knew he heard it. He didn’t reply. Tears began to well in her eyes.

“You look beautiful in your wedding dress.”

Elain had so much to say but all that came out was, “thank you.”

Elain tightened her grip on his hand and he finally turned to look her in the eye. Silver lined his eyes, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. She reached up to wipe it away with her free hand but he caught her wrist before she could reach him.

“Let me grieve, Elain.”

She felt a tear roll down her cheek too. No one moved to wipe it away. Silence enveloped them again. A shooting star entered her vision before vanishing as quickly as it arrived. 

“Make a wish,” Azriel whispered.

She had no hope left to wish. Instead, she moved so she was straddling his waist, her petticoats making it difficult, and rested her head against his chest, content to listen to his heartbeat. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. She never wanted to leave. For the first time that day, her mind went quiet. 

A week from now, she would be leaving on her honeymoon for 4 months, and after she would be moving to the autumn kingdom. She would only return once a month, see Azriel once a month. She couldn’t bear this. She despised their situation. She would give anything for them to be able to be together. She would give up her entire life. _She would give up her entire life._

“I wish that we would run away, leave everything behind and just be together.”

She looked up at him after she said this and he stared back with wide eyes.

“I mean it. I would give up everything. I just want us to be together, I would give up my riches, my title, my world.”

He swallowed, “You mean it?”

“I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life.”

-

Elain looked at Azriel with such sincerity. He knew she was serious. The baubles in her hair sparkled in the moonlight, and gently he began to remove them. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest again. His heart swelled and he just wished that the fates had been kinder. His mother used to tell him that everyone had one person destined for them, that their fates intertwined and were written in the stars. He knew that Elain was his person, but they had met in the wrong life. He finished removing the pins from her hair and rested his hands on her back once again.

“We can’t, Elain.”

She didn’t lift her head but he could feel her frown.

“Why not? I could run to my room, pack my belongings and we could be gone before anyone realises we are missing.”

“You could,” he replied. “But you wouldn’t just be leaving your royal life, you’d be leaving your friends, your family. And besides, have you ever lived anywhere with less than 10 rooms and an entire staff of servants? Would you be able to adjust? And what would happen to your kingdom if you abandon the agreement you made when you married the Autumn Prince? We could be hunted down, we would never be able to truly rest.”

Elain sat up, a heartbroken expression on her face.

“Just say you don’t want to go with me.”

He shifted so he could sit up slightly and cupped her face in his hands before pressing the gentlest of kisses to her lips.

“My love, my Elain. There is nothing I want more than to run away with you. I just fear that you would regret it, and resent me for making you choose. I’m just trying to be logical. Where would we live? How would we earn money?”

“We could run far away from here, go to the continent and settle down in a village. We could pawn some of my jewels to pay for the journey there and then we could get jobs. I know how to bake, I was taught by the chef when I was a girl. I want this, Azriel, so much.”

He pulled her back down against his chest and pressed kisses to the crown of her head.

“I know you do. But I don’t think we can. I’m sorry.”

Elain sniffed and he wiped away the tears that were now streaming down her face.

“I hate this!” She cried, “I hate that we can’t just love each other. I hate that we have to part. I have to move to the Autumn Kingdom, Azriel! I’ll only be here once a month. I can only see you once a month, and I despise it.”

She grasped both his hands in hers, “At least I get to see you, it’s not as if we shall never see each other again.”

His heart clenched as he remembered the news he was told earlier today. He had put it out of his mind but it had all come rushing back to him now.

“I’m being transferred.”

Elain dropped his hands, the warmth quickly fleeing.

“Where? For how long?”

He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to harness his emotions, he needed to be strong, for himself and more importantly, for Elain.

“To the Night Kingdom. Permanently.”

Elain let out a sob, no longer able to hold it in. 

“Why? Why must you go?”

“They are lacking in guards and Crown Prince Rhysand asked your father for a favour, which he agreed to, of course, Rhys is his son-in-law." He paused to gather his thoughts. "I’m sorry, Elain. There’s nothing I can do.”

Elain tucked her head into the crook of his neck as he gently stroked her back. 

“Despite our connections through marriage and Rhys and Lucien’s friendship,” she mumbled, “The Autumn Kingdom and The Night Kingdom are not on great terms. Especially with the two King's rivalry. I will probably never visit. Are you sure we can’t just run?”

“We would never make it. They would hunt us to the ends of the earth to get you back.”

She pressed a kiss to his neck, his jaw, his cheek.

“Couldn’t we just try?”

He looked up at the sky as he ran as many scenarios as he could through his head. None had a happy ending. It may seem like he didn’t want to go, but in truth, he would give his entire world for Elain. And he couldn’t bear to see her suffer as she would if they ran. She could be happy with Lucien, as much as it broke his heart, she could learn to be happy. She would never want for anything. Lucien was a kind man, he would dote on her. She could forget him, and she’d be better off for it.

“As much as I wish it, my love, it could never work.”

She turned away, unable to look at him. He felt his heart fall to pieces in his chest, and he was sure she felt it too.

“When do you leave?” He barely heard her whisper over the bushes swaying in the gentle breeze.

“Tomorrow morning- before dawn.”

“So this is the last time we will see each other?”

He nodded, unable to speak, his tongue laden down with guilt and despair. She grasped his chin in her fingers, forcing him to meet her eyes, they were burning.

“This is not the last time we will see each other.” A fierce expression overtook her face. “You hear me, Azriel? We will meet again. And when we do, we will be together.”

“I believe you.”

He pressed his lips to hers, savouring the feeling of her next to him. She sighed, melting into his embrace. They held each other tightly, kissing under the stars as if nothing had ever happened, as if they could live a normal life together.

Chatter startled them out of their bliss. A group of wedding guests must have been walking in the gardens and passing the walled garden. Elain pulled away.

“I should go back before they come looking for me.”

She rose, moving off his lap and readjusting her dress. Cold crept in as Elain’s warmth leached out of him. She did look truly stunning in her wedding gown, although he wished it was him she was marrying not a Prince from a distant kingdom. He stood a moment after, straightening his uniform. They stared at each other, unsure of what to do. The magnitude of this parting was starting to properly settle in.

“I guess this is goodbye,” He said to her.

“But not forever.”

“But not forever.”

She stepped forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“I’ll see you soon, my love.” 

They both knew that she was lying. They wouldn’t be seeing each other for a long time. She started to turn away, making her way to the exit. He called out to her before she disappeared.

“I love you.”

She smiled at him, her soft, gentle smile only reserved for him.

“I love you too, Azriel.”

She stepped through the doorway. Her golden hair and the white silk of her dress was the last glimpse he caught of her. A small clink caught his attention. The various clips and pins from Elain’s hair still lay on the bench in a pile, one had fallen off. He went back to the bench and picked up a hairpin with a rose gold flower on. It was so quintessentially Elain. He tucked it in his pocket before leaving the rest on the bench and exiting the garden.

He would see her again.

He had to.

-

It was a quiet walk back to the party. Elain took the long route back, admiring the flowers under the moonlight and trying to quell her tears. She was always told that love was a cure, a balm, a life-saving drug. She was never told how much love would hurt. She reached to brush her hair from her face and realised that she had left her hair accessories in the garden. No matter, she wouldn’t be going back anytime soon and Elain found that she didn’t have the energy to care.

She approached the reception area, taking several deep breaths, pinching her cheeks and forcing a large smile onto her face. She stepped back in and several guests rushed to her side. They showered her in questions about where she was? If the wedding was what she had always dreamed of? If she was excited about the future? 

Her thoughts swirled and she felt faint. Luckily, her sister came to her rescue.

“Elain! There you are. Are you feeling better?”

Feyre threaded her arm through Elain’s and dragged her away from the crowd that had formed around her. She pulled her to a quiet corner of the party and handed her a glass of wine, which she gladly downed. Feyre eyed her with a concerned expression.

“Are you okay? You can talk to me, Elain.”

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

Feyre cast her a disapproving look, knowing that there was more to the story than ‘tiredness’.

“Whatever you say. Lucien and King Beron were looking for you earlier, shall I bring you to them?”

Elain rapidly shook her head. Her mind was a mess and her heart was weighted with lead, she couldn’t face her husband and his cold father. She was told that Lucien was nothing like his father, she could only hope that he didn’t turn into a version of the cruel king his father was.

“Can we just stay here for a moment?”

They stood in silence, watching the guest dance and chatter. Rhys was on the dance floor, twirling his cousin around and around as they laughed. Feyre smiled softly at her husband and her best friend, Morrigan. Elain could see that she was happy, and she was happy for her. But she couldn’t help but feel the claws of jealousy dig into her heart slightly. Her sister deserved the world. But didn’t Elain also deserve even an inch of happiness? The fates didn’t seem to think so.

A drop of water hit the hand clasped around her glass, and Elain looked up to see that dark clouds had rushed in to cover the moon and stars. Another drop hit the floor in front of her and another. Soon, the heavens split open and rain fell in buckets. Screams emanated from guests as they rushed for cover. Servants hurried to try to gather valuables and cover any furniture and decor that were exposed to the rain.

Feyre tugged on her hand, trying to pull her to cover but Elain pushed her away.

“You go.” She called over the rain. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Feyre nodded and ran to the covered area, where Rhys scooped her into his arms and wrapped her in an embrace. Elain tilted her head back to the sky, raindrops catching on her eyelashes. She closed her eyes and breathed in the cool, damp air. Cold dug its icy teeth into her, and water trickled down her back from her hair, soaking her dress.

She opened her eyes and watched the rain strike the roses that lined the reception area. The effect was beautiful. It had not rained this hard since the beginning of spring, and heavy rain hadn’t been predicted until the fall. She released the churning tide of emotions within her, letting her warm tears be washed away by the rain. 

Maybe the heavens were crying with her.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I might write a part 2 but who knows...
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @stars-falling


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